124 days

124 days till I can get away... 

124 days till I can be myself again... 

124 days till I get my ass out of here...

124 days till I'm free... 

124 days till I can go home...

I don't belong here. I belong back home. I want to go back. I want my friends. I miss them and I'm tired of hearing their stories. I could've been there, I could've seen it... I feel like I don't have enough time when I'm hear. School sucks. I almost feel like I'd rather be back home, going to a high school where I have to get up by at least 6 and take the subway or a bus or SOMETHING! My brother got that experience. He had to wake up at 5 each morning, then took a subway at 6, having to switch trains and all, and getting to go to school in the city. Sure... Here I wake up at 7, I don't leave my apartment till 7:55 usually... But I want my friends. I love them and they mean the world to me. I honestly feel forgotten and I'm starting to think they feel forgotten too. If my best friend replaced me, in anyway... I may just die. I've known her since I've been two! I freakin' love her and miss her. No one can fill the gap of out friendship.

I just wanna go home. I just wanna have the freedom I had. Here... I can't walk anywhere. I can't even walk to the damn soda machine thats two building away after sundown, because then my mom is scared to death I'll be attacked by coyotes... If you're so scared of them, then why did we move the state full of them?

Can I just go back home?  

Can I just see my friends? 

Can I just all my little hiding places where you'd never find me? 

Can I just have fun again? 

Can I just stop crying? 

Can I just live in my big house again? 

Can I just go back in time?  

Can I just live the way I want to?  

 No...



Always the answer... No.

I honestly just want to stop crying... It's 4 am here, and I typing this, not bothering to wipe the tears.

I just miss home...

What I've Learned From the Vlogbrothers

Animal Sex... Pretty entertaining to hear it described by one of the best authors...

Giraffes are whores...

And it takes a while for a goat to hump the right part of the body....

Honey Badgers are more badass than I expected...

Art stealing is way more awesome when you're eating Pringles...

Cuteness is nothing but a drug...

Anglerfish know nothing and don't judge each other...

Hanklerfish...

Nerdfighteria is awesome... So to all my fellow nerdfighters...

DFTBA

Dear...

1. (Mike) Newman...
   I liked you for 2 years, finally realized you weren't worth it.
   Funny, kind, and seemingly sweet...
   I've seen you drunk, and somehow find that adorable...
   Why did  I like you? Why now...
   
   TJ said you liked me, but I realize the lie. TJ wanted to see me happy, and my little crushing heart fluttered at the thought of you liking me. My stupid crush blocking my rightful mind, fogging up the truth.
   
   Not, you're not exactly a douche, or never have you ever been one towards me. But you're not worth it...
   
   You're obsessed with a girl, who you declared your love for, and cried like a baby when she tried to let you down easy. I love a guy with emotion, but when you are still admitting your love on FaceBook when she has a boyfriend, and you receive threats from that boyfriend, and you pretend its not about her, when we all know the truth...
   
   So please, Newman, stop posting attractive pictures that make me want to see you, stop making me want to like you again...
   
2. Bobert...
   Robert, is your real name... Proposed to me when I was age 5,  I turned you down, and what did you do, as a boy a year older? You go off, around the party, and tell everyone you broke up with me... Even then, a douche...
   
   I must say, annoying you by calling you Bobert is still fun... Sure I haven't seen you in at least a year, if not more...
   
   Hell, I almost forget your name... But I just love laughing at how much of a bitch you were at age 6...
   
   I must admit, you did look pretty hot without a shirt and just swim shorts when I first song you in the longest time about 3 years ago...
3. Ray...
   STOP BEING SO DAMN TALL...
   
   REALLY...
   
   SHRINK A FOOT OR TWO...
   
   MY NECK STILL HURTS FROM JUST THINKING ABOUT LOOKING UP AT YOU! NOT EVEN JOKING...
   
   And it never helped that I was usually the shortest or second shortest throughout our years at school...
4. TJ
   Always felt like I didn't like you since 1st grade...
   
   HOW DID I NOT REALIZE YOUR AWESOMENESS TILL 8TH GRADE?
   Seriously...
   
   You were just so... Anti-social in school... But outside? You were actually epic...
   
   AND GET YOUR ASS ON SKYPE MORE, I WANNA TALK TO YOU!
   Which reminds me my next letter...
5. Alex...
   OR Alexander, as TJ calls you...
   
   We 'casually' flirt all the time...
   
   You're probably one of my best guy friends...
   
   I rather miss you, but we're not the type of friends, I guess, that actually talk to one another unless we see one another...
   
   But seriously, we probably just may end up dating and hitting it off...
   
   NO... You're not the most attractive, but you are a hell of a nice guy and  I actually known you for a good part of my life...
   
   I BET TJ APPROVES OF THIS LETTER...
   

I think that's about of my letters that I felt like typing...
Yup, 4/5 were to boys/people who will never read it...

Maybe I'll type another one soon, or maybe just add onto this...

POST ABOUT TJ

Her life is fucked up...

I can't even describe it...

Her family is weird, and I guess she came out okay...

Lexy and all her Boys...

ALEXAS... THE LOVELY GIRL OF A CERTAIN WHOSE DATING THE LOVABLE JOHNNY...
AND YES, I'M KISSING UP CAUSE JOHNNY ASKED ME TO WRITE THIS POST


FOR AS LONG AS I'VE KNOWN LEXY, SHE'S HAD 3 BOYFRIENDS...

1. Stone
   Our age, looks like big tough guy, actually a bit of a softy.
   
   Stone was Alexas' bf when I first really got to meet her, which was homecoming... According to her, she never really liked him, but rather was talked into dating him...
   
   They broke up when Stone found out she liked another guy while they were still dating. She felt bad, but he got mad, then sorry when Lexy broke up with him for the next guy...
2. Andrew
   Year older, kinda dorky, much taller than us
   
   Andrew seemed like the quiet type. No idea how he and Alexas met. They didn't exactly look like a cute couple No offense. It looked like they were friends, not dating. Andrew really liked her, but she ended up losing the emotion within a month
   
   They broke up, and now it's awkward between them. Andrew was obviously heart-broken, and not doesnt talk to Lexy
3. JOHNNY
   A YEAR OLDER, THINK OF JOJO FROM HORTON HEARS A WHO. THATS HOW HE LOOKS
   
   I SO CALLED THEM BECOMING A COUPLE
   
   CURRENTLY DATING. I SIT WITH HIM AND LEXY AT LUNCH ALMOST EVERYDAY. THEY ARE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE AND I MEAN THAT  HE'S SO SWEET TO HER, AND SHE REALLY LIKES HIM... JUST ADORABLE, JUST  PLAIN ADORABLE...
   
   THEY RECENTLY HAD THEIR FIRST KISS
   
   KNOWING ALEXAS' STREAK, IF SHE BREAKS UP WITH JOHNNY, I MAY NEED TO CONVINCE HER TO RECONSIDER... I MAY BE SAYING THIS BECAUSE I'M NOW FRIENDS WITH HIM, BUT C'MON ALEXAS. I SEE THE WAY HE IS ABOUT YOU AND ITS ADORABLE. AND YOU SAY "I JUST LOVE HIM..."AND"HE'S SO ADORABLE" ALL THE TIME...

YOU TWO BETTER NOT BREAK-UP ANYTIME SOON OR I MAY HAVE TO SLAP ONE OF YOU...

THAT STALKER BITCH I KNOW

I swear, just ask TJ

THIS BITCH, MARIAH, OR HOWEVER YOU SPELL HER NAME...

YEAH...

SHE'LL CLIMB UP A LADDER TO STARE AT YOU IF SHE THINKS YOU'RE A HOT DUDE....

THAT MOTHER FUCKER IS WEIRD AS FUCK...

ITS NOT EVEN LIKE SHES ATTRACTIVE!

THINK OF ALL THOSE UGLY GIRLS WHO STALK GUYS THEY LIKE, THEN END UP MURDERING THEM FOR SEEING HIM WITH SOME OTHER GIRL...
YEAH, THATS MARAIH IN A NUTSHELL

AND SHE WILL MURDER YOU IF SHE FIND OUT YOU LIKE A GUY SHE LIKES...
SHE HAS NO CHANCE WITH THEM!

SHE LIKES PETER, AND IS CONVINCED SHE HAS A BETTER CHANCE WITH HIM THAN JULIA...

GO HIBERNATE, CAUSE YOU AIN'T GONNA GET NO BEAUTY SLEEP...

I SWEAR... SHE IS A MOTHER FUCKING CREEPER...

AND SHE LIKES AT LEAST 5 GUYS AT A TIME...

GET OUT OF THE BUSH AND GO STALK SOMEONE WHOSE IN YOUR LEAGUE

THIS BITCH CONFUSES ME...

WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU SPAWN FROM?

LITTLE DEMON, STALKING, MOTHER FUCKING CHILD...

JULZ AND PET-AR

Julia-one of my best friends
Likes Peter-a boy I went to school with, the son of her crazy-ass science teacher, and is also a year younger than us

TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

They are so cute...
And I mean that...

They met at Dunkin' Donuts SO ROMANTIC
And now Julia likes Peter...

She wants to date him... But he's a bit oblivious...

Not to mention how awkward it would be to be dating one of your least favorite teacher's son.

Me, and TJ, always taunt her a little bit...

YOU GUYS WOULD MAKE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE...........

and so on and so forth...


OH! And she assumed he was gay... Just because the way he flipped his hair. WHEN YOU HAVE A THAT HAIRCUT, YOU ALMOST HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO ACT CUTE AND DO THAT WITH YOUR HAIR...

And c'mon... Peter is straight as... I don't know... A line?
But no, he's not the manliest, but he is cute... He looks like a little brother to me...


BUT YEAH!
Julia and Peter need to get together, get married, and live happily ever after in a castle with at least 2 adorable blonde babies!!!!

Please Excuse Me...

I swear to God I am normal...
I just have a fucked up mind at night, where my thoughts roam free...

Not to mention, the mini-inside jokes I may have in my posts
MASTURBATION IN SPANISH CLASS


So please excuse some of my weirdness... Some nights I am worse than others... Some nights I just want to rant...

Some nights I just am random and crazy...

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING...

Masturbation

Yes...
It's healthy.

No...
I do not masturbate.

Why?
Masturbating for guys, I feel, makes more sense than masturbating for girls. Guys can just stick their hand down the pants anytime they want and just masturbate, whether its in Spanish class, or in their room, staring at hot girls on Google images.
Girls, on the other hand, have to almost be serious about masturbating. They need to usually by a dildo of some sorts, or some other object, while others like to use their fingers. No offense, but sticking your fingers up your vagina is a disgusting to me. Plus, girls usually have to have to sit down and choose to masturbate and basically prepare to masturbate...

Ok... I don't blame anyone for masturbating... It's normal, it's fine...
For all I care/know, you could be masturbating when you're reading this.
Either way, I don't care.

It's your body, your choice, so I have no place to judge.

You don't masturbate?
You're normal...

You masturbate?
You're still normal...

Oh! And why is a teenager writing about this?
Mainly cause it's a bit of an inside joke, it's my thoughts, and it's my blog...
And let's face it, people who are my age are getting more action from masturbating than action with their boyfriend/girlfriend...
Except for a few girls I know...


But yes...
I'm just a teenager writing my thoughts on my blog...

My New Blog

Hello!
This is my blog...

It's where I will share my thoughts...
It's where I will help anyone who needs my advice...

My friend suggested I make a youtube, but then I decided "I'll make a blog instead!"
So here I am.

You can comment on any of my posts...
If you need any advice if you have a crush or other relationships, just ask me!

My friends think I'm pretty good with "Love" kinds of advice, hence why I'm considered a teenage love guru among them.

OH!
And I also double as a therapist for my friends... No joke...


And don't worry, I'm not one to judge anyone.
<3

I hope to gain some lovely readers along the way...