124 days

124 days till I can get away... 

124 days till I can be myself again... 

124 days till I get my ass out of here...

124 days till I'm free... 

124 days till I can go home...

I don't belong here. I belong back home. I want to go back. I want my friends. I miss them and I'm tired of hearing their stories. I could've been there, I could've seen it... I feel like I don't have enough time when I'm hear. School sucks. I almost feel like I'd rather be back home, going to a high school where I have to get up by at least 6 and take the subway or a bus or SOMETHING! My brother got that experience. He had to wake up at 5 each morning, then took a subway at 6, having to switch trains and all, and getting to go to school in the city. Sure... Here I wake up at 7, I don't leave my apartment till 7:55 usually... But I want my friends. I love them and they mean the world to me. I honestly feel forgotten and I'm starting to think they feel forgotten too. If my best friend replaced me, in anyway... I may just die. I've known her since I've been two! I freakin' love her and miss her. No one can fill the gap of out friendship.

I just wanna go home. I just wanna have the freedom I had. Here... I can't walk anywhere. I can't even walk to the damn soda machine thats two building away after sundown, because then my mom is scared to death I'll be attacked by coyotes... If you're so scared of them, then why did we move the state full of them?

Can I just go back home?  

Can I just see my friends? 

Can I just all my little hiding places where you'd never find me? 

Can I just have fun again? 

Can I just stop crying? 

Can I just live in my big house again? 

Can I just go back in time?  

Can I just live the way I want to?  

 No...



Always the answer... No.

I honestly just want to stop crying... It's 4 am here, and I typing this, not bothering to wipe the tears.

I just miss home...